whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

24

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops