What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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