If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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this website even though its hilarious.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Where's my tractor?

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops