Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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poop

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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A person from Singapore eats

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops