Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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