Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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no pun intended

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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gay porn...

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Abortion

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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