A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Penis.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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