What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

im gay because im gay

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops