How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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