Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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