-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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96

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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a man said hi.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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