Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

And Stephen Hawking said.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops