There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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9/11

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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