When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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yes... that's the joke

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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