Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops