Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops