One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

Once upon a time, The end.

Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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