How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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No.

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Scott Gomez

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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