roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down +13

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops