yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -50

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -58

A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

My children are huge mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops