Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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...............................................................hi

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Canada AYY

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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