Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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Dancing Potatoe!

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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