How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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69

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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