That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

thumb_up thumb_down +46

You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops