What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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