Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops