What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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