Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops