What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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