Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

G

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops