A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

Coldpaly is a good band

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

im gay

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

The chicken crossed the road.

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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