How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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