hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops