If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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retard

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops