Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

http://www.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops