Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are too im bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Top Gear USA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops