So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Of course, first door on your left

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Im cute hehehee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops