Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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vitamin c

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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