Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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womens rights

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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