Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Your Mother

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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