What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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25

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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