What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Female Orgasms

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bumsniffer

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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gay people

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An Asian man fails a math test

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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