A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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UP

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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I'm Batman.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Weed.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops