how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Sloth runs...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

meh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A French man gets into a fight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops