Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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