If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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My friend harris is fat.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Hey

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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