Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

raisin boogers

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

What's big and fat? An obese man.

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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