What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

shammmm is a lesbian.

A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

I killed someone today. :D

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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