What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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