Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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