Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -59

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -167

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops