A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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